Bishop Kelsey served his five years and was replaced by Tom
Elder. Unique is the best way to describe Tom. Tom and his family came into the
ward the same way the Kelsey’s did – through a small boundary adjustment.
Before the boundaries were reorganized, Tom’s parents moved
into the ward. The house belonged to Norma Humphries when we first moved into
this ward. The odd thing about our ward is you are identified by the former occupants
of the home where you live. For example, we moved into the Stanton’s home. Which
meant that when we introduce you for the first while we had to tell people we
live in the Stanton’s home? It just makes things easier.
The Elder’s upset this tradition. Tom’s parents were identified
as living in Norma Humphries’ home. By the time it would have been called the
Elder’s home, the boundary shifted and we lost track. Tom and his family bought
the home from his parents. So when the house returned to our ward we weren't
sure to call it the Humphries’ or the Elder’s home. Such is the complexities of
life in a small Orem ward.
Just after the Stake Conference, when the boundary change
was announced, our bishopric went to visit those who newly came into the ward. We
visited the Kelsey’s and the Elders on the same day. Bishop Gardner got along
well with Forrest Kelsey. However, Tom Elder and Bishop Gardner were completely
different people. I got alone with Tom right away but Bishop Gardner was not
too sure how to take Tom.
Why?
Well, Tom lacks in seriousness and is highly sarcastic. At
times he can say things that are irreverent and cause you to pause to determine
if he was serious. As I possess some similar traits, we had an instant friendship.
What I soon learned was that Tom had very few friends. He
could connect with people but would quickly put up a fence to keep potential friends
at a distance. I respected that and this added to our ability to work together.
Just as Tom was integrating into the ward, he was called to
serve in a BYU bishopric and later as a BYU Bishop. As he had a young family,
he served on campus by himself while his wife and children attended church without
him. As Tom as not too well known, many members thought that Karrie was a
single mom or that her husband was inactive.
When he came back to the ward he has first put into Young
Men’s and then made a counselor to Bishop Kelsey. I am not sure how that dynamic
worked. Bishop Kelsey was Tom’s neighbor and one time employer. These two men
were also complete opposites. But I feel Tom’s calling into the bishopric
allowed Bishop Kelsey to serve his last few months on a high note. Tom added a
new type of compassion to a bishopric severely lacking that trait.
I was in India with Karen when Tom was called. As Karen was
the ward organist and we had few willing substitutes at the time, Tom had to play
the organ the day he received his call. The ward really didn't know Bishop
Elder as person as he spent so much time away from our community. But he learned a lot while serving at BYU and
became an activist bishop.
He spent more time in the homes of the members than he did
in his office. He told me that the homes were his office. As he rarely had a steady
job, he was able to visit ward members all through the day. This was a vast
change from Bishop Kelsey.
Soon after Bishop Elder was called, he had me released from
the High Council and sustained as the High Priest Group Leader. So he and I
served together until I was called to BYU. We had an odd dynamic in leadership
meetings that caused people to wonder if we even got along. But we did work effectively
for that time and saw walls of solitude among ward members solely melt way.
So, Andrew has this friend Alan—and they've both got that sarcastic humour and joke with each other all the time.
ReplyDeleteOn Sunday Brother Rogerson told Andrew he needed to talk to him about something but that it could wait until Monday, so Andrew met him in his office on Monday where Brother Rogerson (who works with the YM/scouting) told him that one of the youth approached him and asked if Andrew and Alan hated each other because they're always saying mean things to each other and fighting on facebook.
Because the youth in question needs to learn about sarcasm, Brother Rogerson suggested that Andrew makes a point to be kind to Alan in front of a group of youth one of these days—high five him in the hall or something.
The apple doesn't fall too far from the tree...
I had a similar experience with Brad Kramer and with Sister Fujiki. After home teaching at the Fujiki's one night, Bob and Amanda both asked Bonnie if she was my friend because she teased me so much.
ReplyDeleteYeah, sometimes it is good to know your audience....